Obedience

"Jesus is the reason for the season" but this time of year Mary has a special place in my heart. Maybe it’s because I'm a mother and I think of how she must felt knowing she was carrying the Messiah and to hold this tiny newborn in her arms knowing He would save her. In my work with mothers and being a mother myself I see the common emotions that new mothers face, yet Mary's was amplified. Here she was a teenage girl and an angel tells her she has been chosen to carry Gods son. I look at my teenage girls and try to put into perspective Mary's emotions. Also the fear she must have had knowing the risks she was taking, the beatings she could receive since she was engaged. Yet Mary was obedient.
     If I could use one word to describe this year, I would have to use "obedient". A second word would be patience. It is hard to know your calling and not be able to walk in it. God has called me, personally, to work with expectant mothers; but He has also called Jason and me to work with marriages. Over the last few years I struggled with the fact that we were not doing that. I built up resentment toward Jason because he wasn't walking in his faith and I kept feeling God's heart toward all the marriages around me that I saw falling apart.  This summer God started speaking to me about my selfishness and pride. I needed to look at my own marriage and see the shambles it was in. I began praying for it and for Jason's walk. I realized that God called "us" to minister to marriages but I couldn’t resent Jason for not being able to walk in that calling. I knew to walk in a calling of ministry meant you needed to be a standing on a solid foundation and I knew Jason was still on shaky ground. It frustrated me because "I" wanted to move now. But God was reminding me it is not "my" time but HIS.
       This year I lost my mentor in Christ; Zoila. Even in her returning home, she was teaching and discipling me. God used that to show me that I wasn't being obedient. Zoila had mentored and discipled so many woman. She taught us to pray, store up God's word and seek Him in everything. When we were in Texas and Jason was on my bad side I would start to tell her the things he was doing and she would stop me and say, "But Carrie, what are YOU doing?" When she left this earth God reminded me of that. I was so lost in blaming Jason for us not walking in what He was calling us to I was forgetting about what "I" was doing. Just because "we" couldn't minister to marriages didn't mean I couldn't minister to marriages. So I began The Power of a Praying Wife bible study. At first it was just supposed to be for me and my neighbor but now it has grown, and God has done some amazing things through it. Of all of us who attend are still praying for restoration but we definitely see God moving in our lives and in our marriages. Instead of waiting until Jason and I were ready, I just started walking it out and God is shaping us each step of the way.
     Just as Mary took that leap of faith by being obedient, not knowing what Joseph would do or how he would respond. She just walked in obedience. What if she would have said, "I need to talk to my fiancé about this first?" No, she heard God calling her and she walked in obedience. She trusted God that HE would work in Joseph’s heart and even if Joseph quietly divorced her she knew she was obedient. Because of her obedience though she was blessed and Joseph stayed by her side and in turn became obedient to Gods plan.