Over the years that we struggled with our marriage, the hardest thing for me was the loneliness. I felt like I was the only one fighting for our marriage. Things really started turning around for us when I stopped wallowing in the loneliness and realized that the one I needed to run to was waiting with arms wide open. It was then I realized that I was not alone. God desired the same things I did. It changed my prayers and my outlook and gave me hope. For those who are in the same place I was, listen to Fireflight’s song “For Those Who Wait”. I waited and prayed for years but I never gave up and because of that our marriage is better than ever.
“Another day, another waiting time
A little different, but it’s still the same”
For years I wrote in my journal about my journey and it was so depressing when I would look back and nothing had changed.
“I am here, where is the one I’m longing for?”
I thought my longing was for Jason, but God wanted me to long for Him and fill that void with Him.
“I’m having trouble, feeling all alone
Will my heart ever find a home?
I want to hope but sometimes I just don’t know
I’m not the only one”
My heart was searching for something in my marriage, or so I thought. In reality the hunger I felt was for God. I’m not the only one and I wasn’t alone, He was with me.
“So we sing a lullaby to the lonely heart tonight
Let it set your heart on fire, let it set you free
When you’re fighting to believe
In the love you cannot see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait”
God is singing us a lullaby telling us that we may not see what His purpose is but “it is not to harm you but to prosper you and give you a hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11).
“I want to open my eyes
I know that all I need is time
I’m growing stronger every single day
Got to go I’ll leave it to you now
Letting go of all my fear and doubt
I can’t do this on my own so I give you control”
In my waiting for God to change Jason; He changed me. He made me stronger, He made me realize the fears and the doubt that I had that things would never truly change. It didn’t matter the knowledge I had that God could heal, I still doubted, because I doubted that Jason would allow the change. When I gave that over to God when I “let go” of that, and gave God total control, that was when I saw significant change, not only in our marriage but in Jason’s heart and in my heart.
“The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it.
Let it set your heart on fire
This is for those who wait”
Watch the video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcRMNiZtj5s
