Lamentations 4:1-2 “How the gold has lost its luster, the fine gold become dull! The sacred gems are scattered at every street corner. How the precious children of Zion, once worth their weight in gold, are now considered as pots of clay, the work of a potter’s hands!”
I admit I’m no Bible scholar but I have always loved the analogy of being “clay in the potter’s hands”. When I first came to Christ I had a passion in me; a drive to learn all that I could about my Jesus. Over time though that passion faded and I became dull. But God is a gracious God and wasn't finished with me yet. If you have ever worked with a pottery wheel you know that often times when you begin a work you must start over. You throw the lump of clay on the wheel and as the wheel begins to spin your hands begin to shape it. Everything is going great and you can see your masterpiece beginning to take shape then something happens and everything is split in two. You gather all the clay up and slam it back down on the wheel again and start over till you have perfected the piece you are working on. When your piece is finished you then place it in the fire of the kiln. As the piece is heated and tested by the fire it cracks and you must start again.
So many times in my Christian journey I have felt like that piece of clay. At times I may have even made it to the kiln but I didn't make it through the fire. The difference between us and a piece of clay is that clay is an inanimate object and doesn't fight what is being done to it. We on the other hand often fight the Potter’s hands because it hurts or we don’t like what it is turning into. At times what we see isn't what the Potter sees and we think if we can just get our hands in there then we can help Him. When we do that often times that is when things fall apart.
God has been walking Jason and me through some stuff lately that we didn't imagine we would have to walk through. But especially with me; he is shaping me into something new. In the past when a trial in our marriage has arisen I went to my defenses and put up a wall to protect myself. God is telling me to stop. I need to quit turning to my own defenses and let God be my protector. Instead of putting up my wall I need to run to Him. And in that, I need to be vulnerable and open to Jason. When God first started telling me that, I argued, “No way God. I’m just going to get hurt and I can’t take anymore hurt”. But He was persistent because He could see the finished product. As I open up to Jason and let my walls down the Lord is doing some amazing healing. Not just in our marriage but in us as individuals. What I thought were walls to protect me were actually walls keeping the blessings that God had for me and for my marriage out. He has been showing me how “when I am weak, He is Strong”.
No marriage is without trials but how we react to each other in those trials will determine the outcome. By me not putting up my walls when a conflict starts it allows Jason the opportunity to minister to me and encourages him to step out of his comfort zone. This allows us to grow closer together and closer to God and allows the Holy Spirit room to do His work in us and through us.
