"Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart and with ALL your soul and with ALL your strength and with ALL your mind" Luke 10:27
Deuteronomy 6:5; 10:12; 11:13; 13:3; 30:6
Joshua 22:5; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30
I am officially a big sap. Whoever would have thought that after 21 years of marriage I would miss Jason this much when he is gone? A few years ago, at the thought of his retirement, I imagined I would get sick of him being home all the time but now I would love to spend all day, every day with him. A couple days ago when we talked on the phone we were talking about how he feels the same. He commented that it was like when we were dating again and I have to agree. I think the only other time I missed him this much was when he was in basic training. There was a time in our marriage though that I actually wanted him gone and when I did miss him it was because I needed him to do things. This time though, yes things are stressful and I could use an extra pair of hands but I just miss him. I miss just hearing his voice, I miss the way he gives me a kiss when I'm sleeping before he leaves for work. I miss him texting or calling me during the day. I miss the hug and kiss I get right when he gets home and most of all I miss laying in his arms at night.
As I contemplate how much I miss Jason, it makes me think of God's love. If the church (me) is the Bride and Jesus is the Groom then how much does He miss us when we are not with Him. He tells us in the Bible He will never leave us. He is always with us, yet how does God feel when we are too busy for Him or ignore Him when He speaks to us? As great as my love for Jason is and my desire to be with him and share everything with him, it's almost unfathomable to think that God's love for me is infinitely more. How much does God long to hold me in His arms? How much does He long for me to take time out of my day to talk to Him and tell Him how much I love Him? The intimacy God desires to have with me? The oneness, the closeness; it's just unimaginable. I can only somewhat measure how I feel and how deep my love for Jason is and his love for me, but how much deeper is God's love for me? WOW. When I just try to grasp that how can I not run after Him, seek Him, worship Him and serve Him with everything that I am?
