Expectations

So I have had this post in the works for a week and a half now. One reason is because this is an important topic and often times a huge stronghold in peoples lives that the enemy does not want to come down. Another is because God has been continually showing my more on this subject. What sparked it was a quote that I heard a week and a half ago, "expectations are offense waiting to happen". It was one of those moments like in the cartoon when a light bulb flashes on over the head of the character. Let me begin by saying I used to get easily offended, especially by those close to me. I know I have overcame it but if someone were to ask me how I didn't know what to tell them other than the power of God. When I saw that quote thought I knew that it wasn't necessarily that I overcame a spirit of offense, but the root was my expectations. The Bible even gives an example, I read it in my devotion last week and then my pastor actually used this passage in his sermon yesterday.

2 Kings 5:1-14
 In summary, it is the story of Naaman, who has leprosy and is told by a servant that the prophet Elisha can heal him. You see the expectations starting in verse 10 when Elisha tells Naaman to go wash himself 7 times in the Jordan river to receive his healing. then in verse 11 Naaman reveals what he had expected. "I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy." It made him angry when Elisha did not live up to his expectations and he would have missed the healing except for his servants pointing out to him that if Elisha had told him to do something great he would have done it. (vs 13.) When Naaman humbled himself and obediently went to the dirty Jordan river and washed 7 times, he was healed. I find it interesting how pride and expectations are so closely linked.

How many of your relationships are affected by your expectations? We form preconceived ideas of the way certain relationships should be and when that is not reality we get offended. What are your expectations for your spouses, your children, your leaders, your friends? I know early on in our marriage my expectations for Jason did nothing but hurt our relationship; it made Christmas, my birthday, Valentine's day, and our anniversary miserable. It heightened my anxiety because things around me were not how I wanted them to be. Sound like control to you? I wanted Jason to be this man that I had dreamed up in my head, I thought I knew what I needed. My expectations were hindering what God wanted to do in Jason and me. Like Naaman, if it wasn't the way "I thought" it should be, I got mad. God's ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8).

We are called to love as Christ loved - unconditionally. If we get offended when someone doesn't behave or do something we expected is that loving them unconditionally?

I believe expectations are a symptom of our desire to control, and when we desire to control, it tells God we don't trust him. Like Naaman we could miss a move of God if we continue to hold onto expectations. Not only that but letting those expectations turn into and offense hinders the blessing and move of God in our lives and those around us. You want true change to happen in your relationships, look at them through God's eyes instead of your preconceived expectations of how you think they should be.  Don't let offense take root because you are too proud to let go of your expectations.

The Only Judgement

From Come Away My Beloved by Francis J. Roberts

"O Lord, what shame that You should need to beg us thus! 

Better that others might find us unavailable because of our occupation with You, 

rather than for us to be slow to come,

so dull to hear, so cold of heart, so indolent (lazy) of soul."

I have spent the past several months running after God like I never have before. Getting to know Him intimately and letting Him know me. Yes, He already knows me, but there is power in it when you confess with your mouth. God has given me visions, words, and I have even felt His embrace. The love that I have felt from and for My Daddy is indescribable. To worship and to soak in His presence has been my desire. He has been pouring into me and I have kept my eyes open for opportunities that He puts in front of me. I have put my priorities on God, my husband, my children, and those God is calling me to minister to. But those that find me "unavailable" are unable to see the heart. ( "...The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" 1 Samuel 16:7)

I do not want God's heart to ever have to longingly beg for my attention. In today's worldliness we are pulled in so many directions and we have so many demands for our time. What do we choose? What get's neglected? I would rather be unavailable to others than to neglect my Daddy and the work of my Father's business. There is a great cost in doing so.

The eyes and hearts of the world, and at times even the church, do not see and understand. His word says, "do not judge...for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged." Matt. 7:1-2. Oh, how quick we in the church are to judge. If it is not our way, it is wrong. I have seen this type of judgement, I have been on the receiving end, and I have even given it out. Jesus even experienced it after healing on the Sabbath in John 7. He went against the status quo and followed the leading of His Father in almost everything He did.

We cannot see what is happening in someone's heart and often times, what God is doing is outside of the norms. If someone has pulled back from serving in the church to devote more time to seeking intimacy with the Lord, who are we to judge them? Jesus, in John 7:24 says, "stop judging by mere appearances, but instead, judge correctly." 

I am finding that as I grow closer to God and the more I step into His will the more judgement comes against me. But the ONLY judgement worthy of my attention is that of my Beloved. People may not  understand because I don't talk to them as much as I used to or because I'm doing things differently, but I want to be about my Father's business. I don't want to be slow to respond or dull to hear. I want to be so in-love with my Beloved and so close to Him that I lose myself. HIS opinion is all that matters, for He alone knows my heart. My only desire is to be in His presence and when the day of "true" judgement comes to stand in front of Him and hear Him say, "Well done, My good and faithful friend".