Expectations

So I have had this post in the works for a week and a half now. One reason is because this is an important topic and often times a huge stronghold in peoples lives that the enemy does not want to come down. Another is because God has been continually showing my more on this subject. What sparked it was a quote that I heard a week and a half ago, "expectations are offense waiting to happen". It was one of those moments like in the cartoon when a light bulb flashes on over the head of the character. Let me begin by saying I used to get easily offended, especially by those close to me. I know I have overcame it but if someone were to ask me how I didn't know what to tell them other than the power of God. When I saw that quote thought I knew that it wasn't necessarily that I overcame a spirit of offense, but the root was my expectations. The Bible even gives an example, I read it in my devotion last week and then my pastor actually used this passage in his sermon yesterday.

2 Kings 5:1-14
 In summary, it is the story of Naaman, who has leprosy and is told by a servant that the prophet Elisha can heal him. You see the expectations starting in verse 10 when Elisha tells Naaman to go wash himself 7 times in the Jordan river to receive his healing. then in verse 11 Naaman reveals what he had expected. "I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy." It made him angry when Elisha did not live up to his expectations and he would have missed the healing except for his servants pointing out to him that if Elisha had told him to do something great he would have done it. (vs 13.) When Naaman humbled himself and obediently went to the dirty Jordan river and washed 7 times, he was healed. I find it interesting how pride and expectations are so closely linked.

How many of your relationships are affected by your expectations? We form preconceived ideas of the way certain relationships should be and when that is not reality we get offended. What are your expectations for your spouses, your children, your leaders, your friends? I know early on in our marriage my expectations for Jason did nothing but hurt our relationship; it made Christmas, my birthday, Valentine's day, and our anniversary miserable. It heightened my anxiety because things around me were not how I wanted them to be. Sound like control to you? I wanted Jason to be this man that I had dreamed up in my head, I thought I knew what I needed. My expectations were hindering what God wanted to do in Jason and me. Like Naaman, if it wasn't the way "I thought" it should be, I got mad. God's ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8).

We are called to love as Christ loved - unconditionally. If we get offended when someone doesn't behave or do something we expected is that loving them unconditionally?

I believe expectations are a symptom of our desire to control, and when we desire to control, it tells God we don't trust him. Like Naaman we could miss a move of God if we continue to hold onto expectations. Not only that but letting those expectations turn into and offense hinders the blessing and move of God in our lives and those around us. You want true change to happen in your relationships, look at them through God's eyes instead of your preconceived expectations of how you think they should be.  Don't let offense take root because you are too proud to let go of your expectations.