Refining Out the Impurities

God has been turning up the heat and bringing a lot of impurities to the surface to burn them out. One of the major impurities He has brought up in me is my lack of trust. My lack of trust in people, and my lack of trust in Him. Though I still trust in the promises of God, I have realized that my trust in the process and my trust in my own gift of discerning and hearing His voice has diminished.

Because of everything that has happened in our lives over the past year, I began to doubt that I had heard God correctly. I don't doubt His will, but I confess that I have doubted my ability to discern His will. I also forgot, or should I say I didn't connect the dots of what has happened to the time before all of this that God gave me a choice. I could have taken a different path. He didn't show me what I was to walk through but He did reveal it would not be an easy path. He asked if I was willing to pay the price of following Him? At the time I was like, "Yes, God. I will pay any price." Then the time came for me to pay up. In the moment, I didn't see that what we were going through was a process of paying the price. 

At the time I knew that God had told me to stand up (1 Samuel 1:9 NIV), stand on (Habakkuk 2:1; 2 Thessalonians 2:15), and speak the truth (Ephesians 4:25). He told me that He was sending me to a "stubborn and obstinate people" (Ezekiel 2:4). I knew at the time the truth I was to speak would not be well received. I was willing to pay the price and long as it was only me to get hurt, then I saw the true "cost" of innocent people getting hurt, friendships lost and offenses toward others began taking root in myself and those around me. 

I've struggled the last few months, questioning, "did I hear God correctly?" "did I speak the truth out of love?" I can answer "yes" to both of those questions, but what I didn't realize is that by asking them, I let doubt in. There is nothing wrong with questioning your decisions, especially when the outcome is not what was expected, but when we know we did the right thing and still say, "but, what if..?", then we invite the enemy to come in and destroy our trust.

That is why I have been so silent lately. "Who am I to say these things?" "I spoke up and look what happened, people got hurt". These are just a couple of the lies the enemy has been whispering in my ear. I listened to a sermon today and it was just another pieces added to the puzzle of my healing. (Bridgeway's Stance on Hyper Grace - Chad Norris) Between that sermon, the cleansing stream study we are going through, and God revealing things to me through His word and close friends; it makes me realize that, yes, people got hurt because of the truth being spoken, I am sorry for that and I feel their pain (so much so I even took on their offenses as well as my own). The truth is offensive and often times when the truth is spoken impurities are forced out into the light. The impurities were already there, within myself and others, the truth just brought them up to be dealt with. It is then, when the impurities are exposed that it is up to the individual to decide what they are going to do with it. I cannot be held accountable for how others choose to react, I can only control how I react. 

I confess, it's been a roller coaster ride. At first I was o.k. (I hadn't seen the impurities yet), I knew I had followed God's will. I didn't understand the outcome but I trusted God that His hands were in it. Then, over time, I didn't hear anything from God, I thought that he had placed me in the desert to journey through what had happened. Only recently, did I come to the realization, with the help of Holy Spirit, that I had placed myself in the desert because of my doubt in hearing and discerning God's will for my life. 

Since that realization, I have confessed my lack of trust in God and in my lack of trust in my gift of discerning His will. I am now in the process of finding those doors in my past where mistrust has entered and closing them for good, with the help of Jesus. 

Had God shown me then, what the cost was going to be for my obedience, I honestly don't think I would have taken the same steps. Knowing what I know now, however, would I do the same thing? I would say, without hesitation, yes! Even though so many people got hurt, I have to trust God and trust that He knows what he is doing? No matter how painful this has been, it has brought things to the surface that needed to be brought into the light and burned out. Purification is, often times, a painful process. Just as we have to prune a plant so that it can be healthier and bear more fruit, God sometimes has to prune us. But there is comfort in knowing that it is for His glory and our benefit. There is comfort in knowing that He never leaves us or forsakes us. I have seen so much proof of that over the past few months. 

I thought God wasn't speaking to me, yet now that my ears are unblocked I can look back and see where He was never silent, I just couldn't hear Him through the doubt and through the offenses

Thank You, Lord for being there and allowing me this journey because without it true healing would not be able to come. Thank you, Lord, for letting me have my time in the pit to wallow but then pulling me out and not leaving me there. Thank You for the loving ways You stir up the impurities of doubt, mistrust, and offense, so they can be purged out. Thank You for the truth of Your Word, though is cuts like a sword, cutting away anything that is not from You, new growth appears leaving us healthier and stronger.

It reminds me of the rose out in front of my house. We used to have a tree in the front yard that shaded it and no matter what I did, I couldn't get it to grow. We had to take down the tree because of carpenter ants and the rose took off and thrived in the sunlight. So much so that it began to grow wildly and wouldn't stay contained to the trellis we have placed to give it support. It began to grow into the walk way and was getting in the way of those wanting to enter. This year we pruned it way back, so far back I worry that it was too much, but just a few days ago I looked at it and saw the new buds and new growth. I am confident it is going to flourish and be healthier because we cur it back. I may be wrong because we are only human, but When God prunes we can trust that He knows what He is doing. In His wisdom He never prunes too much and always prunes the proper amount at the right time. Though it is painful, in the end we will be beautiful plants that will bear much fruit.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 Peter 1:6-7

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Merry Christmas

As 2014 wraps up and we celebrate the birth of our Savior, I reflect back over this year and look at all that He has done in our lives. This has been a roller coaster of a year. I want to apologize to my readers for my lack of posts. Since September we have went through job changes, Jason returning to school and changes in the church. There is so much I want to share about what God is doing in our lives and how He has provided yet I have struggled to find the words. I feel like He is still walking us through some healing and teaching us new things and until I understand what it is I can't put it into words. As we head into the New Year I just want to remind you that God is a God of restoration and no matter what pain or trials you have to go through He promises in His word to "never leave you or foresake you". Hebrews 13:5  I will be over this block soon and be able to share my story but until then have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Hanging With God

I heard a "religious" teaching recently where the person said, "you can't hang with God". I honestly didn't listen to much else on the teaching because I knew how wrong those words were. My heart actually broke for the person; here he was a leader and he believed he couldn't hang with God.

For me, I immediately countered what was said with the words of Jesus in John 15:15, "I don't call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn't know what his master is doing. But I've called you friends, because I've made known to you everything that I've heard from My Father."

Jesus is my best friend and I hang with Him everyday. Those words, spoken in that teaching, didn't hurt me, but it made me realize how many "mature" Christians believe that they "cant hang with God". My question is, if you can't hang with God, who can you hang with?

I know intimately, the meaning of "nothing can separate you from the love of Christ" (Romans 8:35-39), including yourself. As a teenager and young adult I didn't want to "hang with God. I saw people in the church who spoke of all the things you had to do to receive God's love, and they spoke about how much God loved them, but they were not living what they were preaching. If that was God; if He didn't like me the way I was, I didn't need Him. 

But God did love me. He loved me so much that when I ran from Him he pursued me. He put road blocks in my path to turn me back to Him, and He never, I mean NEVER left my side. When I was ready to finally accept His unfailing, unconditional love, all I had to do was the slightest turn to be in His arms.

Since then, I have spent nights talking with God, crying with Him, and my favorite, laughing with Him. I have heard His voice, understood His words, and even felt His arms wrap around me. I hang with Him. I tell Him everything, even though He already knows it, and I seek to know everything about Him. 

I find it sad that there are people who read His word; study it; teach it, yet don't know Him. What I have learned in my "hang time" with Him is that nothing you do is worthy of the love of God, but He loves you anyway, so much so that "while we were still sinners" (Romans 5:8) He sent His Son to die a brutal death so that we can be reconciled to Him. He missed "hang time" with you that much.

Not only that but He knows us so well, that He knows we will mess up and we will jeopardize our time with Him. Because He wants us so much, He gives us someone to help us. Holy Spirit lives in us so He can always be with us. He doesn't just want "hang time', He wants to be one with us; and with the Holy Spirit He is. Holy Spirit guides us, teaches us, helps us understand, strengthens us, encourages us, and comforts us. There is no better friend. 

John 15:13 "No one shows greater love than when he lays down his life for his friends" Jesus did that for me; He did that for you. He wants to call you friend. He wants to hang with you right where you area at, and if you don't feel worthy, that's okay, just accept His unfailing, unconditional love and then let Him send you the Holy Spirit to cleanse you and to pull you out of the miry pit and set your feet on the Rock. (Psalm 40:2) He loves you, He always has and He always will.

If God is pulling on your heart and you would like someone to pray with please message me at carrie.noble.94@facebook.com or find a local church to pray with you.

I Will Be Transparent

I've been in situations over the past year when my transparency has been called into question. Most of the time, it has been from well- meaning people who think I am too transparent. I have seen the result of a lack of transparency and it never ends well. However, when you are transparent the worse thing that can happen to you is a lack of acceptance. 

I recently read an article from Focus on the Family written by Lynne Thompson and I cannot say it a better way. “ Real transparency occurs when I am comfortable being me, flaws and all, no matter what environment I find myself in.” Why would I want to hide who I really am? After all, God formed me and continues to shape me.

I look at the definition of transparent, the two parts are 1) having the property of transmitting light without appreciable scattering so that bodies lying beyond are seen clearly. 2) free from pretense or deceit. To me, as a Christian, that says that when I pretend to be something I’m not, or deceive people about who I really am, I cloud the “Body” lying beneath. Let’s put it another way, when I do not pretend to be something I’m not it humbles me to the point of admitting my flaws, at the same time, it allows people the opportunity to see the “Light” being transmitted through me. When I acknowledge my flaws instead of trying to cover them up, it lets people see Christ working in my life more clearly. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT) says, “…so now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

The article goes on to say, “Living a transparent life can sound quite scary. We may never know how people are going to respond to the real us. What if reality disappoints?” Are we living for man’s approval or for our heavenly Father’s? The Bible says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) and “nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.” (Romans 8:38-39) So do we really have to pretend to be something we are not?

I believe not being transparent can be a dangerous thing. The article quoted Dr. Gary Thomas, author of Authentic Faith : The Power of a Fire-Tested Life, “Eventually the jig is up. Our God loves us to much to allow the charade to continue…There is tremendous freedom, more freedom than most could fathom, when somebody truly knows you and all your ‘stuff’ and still loves you and respects you.” When you try to cover up your faults, it’s like climbing onto a pedestal, you can only hold your balance for so long before you come tumbling down.

I myself would rather lie at the feet of Jesus. It is there that I know I am loved and I am accepted by the only One that matters. It is there, I receive my strength through Him who strengthens. At the feet of Jesus, there are no boxes of religion, there is no condemnation, and there is no fear of falling because I've already fallen, I’m already low. At His feet there is a love and freedom that no one can find while standing on a pedestal. 

A Seed To The Ministry

God is orchestrating some amazing things in the symphony of our lives.  He has given us so many promises over the years and He has never failed to accomplish them. 

The past year and a half he placed within me a heart for those in captivity. Something else He placed in me a long time ago was a determination to seek justice, so when I find out about an injustice I can't just let it sit. I have to do something. I used to think it was me playing the part of the hero, but now I realize that God placed that there to be His hands and feet to the captives. 

I have been learning a lot lately about human trafficking and that it is a problem in our own backyard. I also see the gaps in helping the victims. A few months ago God gave me a vision for a restoration house, a place where, not only can victims escape the life of captivity, but they can begin to restore their lives. 

At the same time God put those things in my heart, Jason's job situation began to falter. God also gave us a promise to move the mountain of debt. We have tried to be very good stewards of all that God has entrusted to us, but we were not always that faithful and we are still paying for those years of unfaithfulness. Because of that we have this mountain of debt that we thought was holding us back from the things we felt God calling us to. 

It’s only human when things begin to shake in our lives and we begin to doubt and lack faith, but it’s through maturity in Christ that we can stand firm on the rock and not let the shaking destroy us. When we have a firm foundation in the rock of our Lord Jesus, no waves can wash us away. In the natural, Jason and I see this overwhelming mountain and not enough income to tackle it. We see what God is calling us to and feel chained, unable to reach out and grab hold of the mission He has for us. But God is faithful and we are standing on the rock. 

Jason, just recently, lost the sales job that he had and again is unemployed. Most people would begin to worry and look for another job, but our faith does not lie in the work of Jason's hands. It lies in the provision of our Heavenly Daddy. We have had several earthly doors shut to us in this past year, and we believe it is because God is calling us to walk through His door to a greater purpose which leads to our ministry. Jason is returning to school this fall and I will begin in the winter term. As God calls us into this greater purpose, and we step out in obedience, we are putting our trust in Him to be our provider, Jason's retirement covers the bills but we have a mountain of debt and tuition for Becca that we are trusting God to provide for. 

Since making that decision and stepping in obedience, He hasn't disappointed us. We have had extra money come in from various sources, a couple of which were led by the Spirit to give. It is very humbling when you are handed a check for no reason, but I am so grateful for God's provision. Months ago I would have felt shame if that would have happened, but now I accept it with all thankfulness because I know it is our Daddy taking care of us. As we use what He is providing to tackle our mountain we are also dividing it and setting aside a seed to begin our ministry. We are beginning to put together the vision for His Covering Ministries and pull together our prayer partners. In the next few months we will be putting together a website and gathering other warriors to meet once a month to pray for victims of human trafficking and the organizations that are already on the front lines. As we begin to provide a prayer covering, we will also be educating and raising awareness to this injustice. As Jason begins school this fall, I will begin to partner with other organizations to begin reaching out to the victims. Exciting things are yet to come and I wait anxiously to see the captives set free, and the years the locusts have eaten restored to the victims of human trafficking. 

Get Ready For Battle

There is a sifting and a stirring taking place in the body of Christ. Those flowing in the Spirit and boldly proclaiming truth are being criticized and judged. Jason and I have experienced with people thinking we are "falling away" because we are not doing their way. I am now seeing friends in other ministries experience similar persecution. Which tells me we are on the path we are supposed to be on. 

In my last blog I wrote how God is "searching for believers and calling believers to live in dependency on Him" I went to a class this weekend and again I heard that God is searching. He is searching for those with pure and sincere hearts. He is searching for the non-squeamish and the obedient. 

When I opened up the word this morning it fell open to Joel 3. It spoke to me about our ministry working with trafficking victims, but the verses that really stood out to me were 9-13a. 

Proclaim this among the nations: PREPARE FOR WAR!

ROUSE THE WARRIORS!

Let all fighting men draw near and attack. 

Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears. 

Let the weakling say, 'I AM STRONG!'

Come quickly, all you nations from every side, and assemble there. 

Bring down Your warriors, O Lord!

Let the nations be roused; let them advance into the Valley of Jehoshaphat, 

for there I will set to judge all the nations on every side. 

Swing the sickle for the harvest is ripe.

We are living in dark times and God is calling everyday people to arm themselves and "prepare for war!" Awake, Awake, Church!! The battle has begun. We MUST be the light in the darkness, for the world will die without it. We must wear the armor of God and yield the sword of Truth. We are in a fierce battle and the Lord is calling all His people to active duty and He has given us our assignments. 

Will the body of Christ go a.w.o.l. or will we rush into the front lines in obedience to our Commander?

Dependent On God

From Come Away My Beloved By Frances J. Roberts

They complained against the landowner, saying, “These last men have worked only one hour, and you made them equal to us, who have borne the burden and the heat of the day,” But he answered one of them and said, “Friend I am doing you no wrong… I wish to give to this last man the same as to you.”  Matthew 20:11-14

Behold, I have put My Spirit upon you that you should cry and not keep silent. Yes, I have spoken to you that you might know the burden of the Lord and might understand what is in My heart.

For I love My people, My chosen and elect; and My heart grieves over them, because they are turned aside. They have known my love; yes, they have tasted of my goodness and entered into My grace, and I have given them My salvation; but their love has grown cold, their desires have turned to others, and their ways are the paths of self-seeking and folly.

For I am a jealous God and I will not share my glory with another. Yes, I will pour out My goodness without restraint upon every open heart, and to all who cry out to Me, I will be gracious.

But my people have not cried; they have not called. They have been satisfied with the husks of this present world, and in an hour of indifference, they have allowed the pleasures of this life to fill that place which belongs only to Me. Yes, it has displaced My Spirit, but it does not satisfy.

O that they might return to Me, for as the father awaited return of the prodigal, so I long for My people. My heart is lifted up with grief, and My tears flow as a fountain. For I love them. My soul is drawn out to them.

Return to Me, and I will return to you. Put away the idols, and give Me your heart. Lay your heart open before Me, and I will purge away the dross. I will cleanse it and fill it with My glory. You will no longer crave the leeks and the garlic of Egypt. You will no longer feed upon the chaff; but I will satisfy your soul with manna from heaven, and with milk and honey you shall be nourished.

And your health will return to you, and your vigor, and you will serve Me with fresh energy. You shall go forth in new power, and My joy will be your constant portion. Though you labor in the last hour before sunset, you shall be rewarded the same as those who preceded you.  (Matthew 20:1-16)

God is searching and calling out believers to live in dependency on Him. Those who are “working” and “laboring” for their provision are being sifted. I’m not saying man shouldn’t work, but when man works he should “work as unto the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). What I am seeing happening is that our jobs are becoming the “idols” that is mentioned in the passage above.

In my work as a labor assistant, I have taught many Christian women how to step into the redemptive work of the cross during childbirth and have a pain free birth. Just like pain in childbirth was a result of the fall, toil at work is also a result.  God is calling His people to step into the redemptive work of the cross.

Jesus came to die for us, not just for the forgiveness of sins but also to restore us back to God’s original design and purpose for us; total dependency on HIM. When we say to ourselves, “I have to work to provide for my family” you are not being dependent on God.

Jason and I have been given a great opportunity to put our trust in Him and to look to Him as our provider. When Jason’s last job began interfering with the leading and direction of the Holy Spirit, God told us to depend on Him and let go of the “idol”. We were being called (as every believer is) to “Seek first His Kingdom” (Matthew 6:33) and let Him handle the rest. It was a huge leap of faith, knowing we didn't have a lot of savings, but we have a Daddy who owns “cattle on a thousand hills” (Psalm 50:10), and we stepped out in obedience. 

He has given us the promise of provision for our needs. It doesn't mean Jason doesn't do anything, but we knew that whatever job he took we had to stay dependent on God’s provision.  He just started working for a company as a salesman working on commission. We have the great opportunity to give our lives to the work of God’s hands as we step out in obedience and watch what God is going to do.  Instead of looking at ourselves, working and toiling to barely provide, we are going to “work as unto God” for His glory to be revealed through our lives. We are letting Him do what only He can do and provide for our needs and fulfill the promise he gave us and watch the mountain of debt disappear.

All for HIS glory!!!