Do You Hear the Pounding?

Imagine with me, if you will, an average day in the life of a "Christian".

Its dark and your tucked inside the warm covers with sweet dreams running through your head, when the alarm sounds and you grudgingly pull your arm out and slam it down on the snooze button. As you lay there, waiting for round 2 with the alarm clock, you begin to pray, "Thank you God for this day. Be with me today. Lord guide my steps, keep my family safe and help me to have a good day. In Jesus Name, Amen"

Round 2. You hit the snooze button, this time you begin to run through your to-do list for the day; it's going to be a busy one. By the time your alarm goes off for the third and final time you throw back the covers to begin your day. It starts off with the morning rush of showers, breakfast, dragging the kids out of bed, packing lunchboxes, coordinating schedules and making sure no one forgets anything. Then out the door everyone goes. As you drop Annie and Johnny off at school, you again say a quick prayer, "Lord Help them to have a good day, keep them safe, and let your light shine through them, In Jesus Name, Amen."

Off to work. Your day is filled with the menial tasks of your job and dealing with co-workers. Lunch comes and you run errands or you eat in the break room and listen to the gossip or talk with a coworker, maybe your even given the opportunity to pray with them. Back to work, busy, busy. Finally the day is done, but the work is not over.

Now it is the busiest time of the day. Johnny has a game you have to go to. Annie needs help with her school work, supper needs fixed, laundry needs done. Everyone eats at different times because they are all going in different directions. After supper, you clean up, make sure the kids have their homework done, pick up the house and if your lucky get to spend a few minutes with your spouse whom you have barely talked to all day before crawling back into bed exhausted with the list of undone tasks running through your head.

Am I right? Is that how the average day goes? or at least somewhat? I have often been criticized, because I stay at home, that I do not understand the life of a working mom, and I don't understand what it is like to have to try to carve out time for the relationships in your life. Maybe I don't, but then again, maybe I do and that is why I have chosen the life that I have. Relationships are important to me, the most important relationship is the one that often gets neglected by "Christians". Why am I putting quotes around the word "Christian"? Because, being a Christian is about having a relationship with Christ.

Instead of building that relationship, many Christians have chosen to run after idols. "What? How dare you say that? I don't worship idols. I love God. I'm a Christian." Really? What do you spend your time on? You start your day in prayer and maybe talk to Him through out the day, but do you ever take the time to listen? To get to know Him through His Word? My worse pet peeve is when people say they don't have time for devotions, or when they say things like "well you stay at home you have plenty of time". I can see Jesus up there looking down with eyes weeping, shaking His head.

Time is a precious thing. Here in America, time = money even. Time is probably the thing we want the most of and complain about the most. Yet, we don't give God our time. The longest chapter in the Bible is Psalm 119. It took me approximately 8 minutes to read and my daughter who is 12 years old about 20 minutes. I timed it. I challenge you to time it at your own speed. I will even be generous and say it would take you around 15 minutes or less to read it. Do you want to stand in front of Jesus on the day of judgment and say, "I'm sorry I couldn't even give you 15 minutes of my day"? How do you think He would react? I know that is harsh but seriously. Time is precious. and very soon our time on this earth will be done. How can we tell people about a God we don't even know? How can we share the love of Christ when we haven't taken the time to get to know what the love of Christ looks like?

We have made our jobs an idol; our spouses an idol; our kids an idol; our house an idol; our to-do list an idol; our "me time" to relax an idol: our entertainment an idol; money an idol. I could probably go on but I think you get the point. As you take the time to see how long it takes you to read Psalm 119 pay attention to what God is saying.

vs 10-11 I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.

vs 28 My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word.

vs 36-37 Turn my heart toward Your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your word

vs 40 How I long for your precepts!

vs 48 I reach out for Your commands, which I love, that I may meditate on Your decrees.

I can keep going. David was called a "man after God's own heart". I believe it was because David longed to spend time with his heavenly Daddy. He hungered to know God and to be known by Him. How would the world around us change if we, who call ourselves "Christians", would exhibit half the hunger David did?  I leave with one last verse.

 Revelation 3:19-20 "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with Me."

 Do you hear the pounding!!

Will you take the time and set aside your idols to eat with your Beloved?

Wake Up! Don't Be Deaf To Your Children.

We are at a moment in time when we have to help our daughter through something that no parent wants their child to go through.The death of a friend by suicide. My heart is breaking for my child, yet, at the same time, I know it is nothing compared to what she is going through, and I can't begin to imagine the pain the other family is going through dealing with the loss of their child. Watching my daughter struggle with the grief and the questions of ,"could I have done more to change this?" makes me angry at the enemy who has come to steal, kill, and destroy.

I am writing to parents on this one. Wake Up!!! Don't be deaf to your children. I have a heart for the younger generation. I see a pattern of too many kids not being able to talk with their parents and too many parents so naive in what their kids are going through and what is influencing their kids. I remember what it was like as a teenager (even though that was decades ago for me). We looked at adults as "they don't understand what we are going through" Why did we think that? We thought that way because our parents never shared what they went through. Too many parents today are too ashamed to let their kids know about their past. That is a tool of the enemy to come in and divide the family. I have always been open and honest about my past with my girls. They know I struggled with an eating disorder in junior high, they know I had many boyfriends, they know I was date raped at the age of 16 and how I put myself into the situation for that to happen. They have heard about my drunken nights before I became a Christian and they were even first hand witnesses to the struggles Jason and I had in our marriage. I have always been open and honest with them. Because of that, they know that they have the freedom to come to me without fear of judgment with ANYTHING they are struggling with. They KNOW I will love them unconditionally and not try to change them against their will.

 I also talk with their friends. The rule in my house is you can tell me anything in confidence and unless I think you are in danger and I will not share it with your parents. Some of you may get mad at me about this, but know that I also give godly advice to them. All teenagers need a safe place to ask questions, and unfortunately for some it is not home. I know what that is like too. When my oldest was in junior high she would talk to me about some things but others she wouldn't. As a parent I made sure there were trustworthy people in her life that were mature and that she could go to. For her, it was her youth group leaders, for other kids it could be a parent of a friend or a teacher. It breaks my heart for the kids and for the parents who do not have that close relationship with their kids. It also makes me mad, because I believe every parent can have that, but they have to put themselves aside and too many are not willing to do that; or worse yet they don't even see that "they" are what is in the way of the relationship. They want to blame their kids, their kid's friends, the media, anything else because its easier than looking at themselves.

I didn't know this friend of my daughters and I didn't know what the relationship was like between her and her parents. I am not talking about them. I am also not saying that having an open relationship with your kids will produce happy, well behaved teenagers. Remember there is an enemy out there who wants to destroy them. This is a bold generation; one who is unashamed to speak up for their beliefs and share their faith and this generation has the enemy scared. Why can I say that with such conviction? Just look at the attacks. Things are a lot different from when we were kids and some things are kids go through we can't begin to understand because we didn't have to battle it.

• Sex: they are surrounded by it, in the movies, in the music, at school. The rates of teens addicted to pornography are higher today and they start at a younger age. Technology has opened up a world at our fingertips, but it is not all good. 
• Bullying: when we were kids we had to deal with it, but we could also get away from it. We tell our kids to walk away but how can they when it is on their phones, in their inbox, on their twitter and Facebook. They can't get away from it unless they unplug, and no teen wants to do that. 
  
• Fear: we didn't have to walk through metal detectors to go to school like some kids today have to. School used to be a safe place but now we have school shootings. What better way to take out a generation that is bold than to instill fear in them. 
• Violence: again they are surrounded by it in the news, neighborhood, movies, video games, and even music. 
• Drugs: sure we had access to them growing up but they have never been more readily available than right now and a lot of teens see it as acceptable. After all, the medical community starts pushing the drugs on them at a young age. "oh your acting up in class? Here's a pill for that" or "you cant sit steal in class after sitting on your butt playing video games all night at home? Here's a pill for that". Society has trained them that taking something for the pain, or "to help you get through" is OK. When a teen looks at it they really don't see a difference form the prescription to the illegal. 
• Here are just a few statistics: (1)
• A 2007 survey in the US found that 3.3% of 12- to 17-year-olds and 6% of 17- to 25-year-olds had abused prescription drugs in the past month. 
• By survey, almost 50% of teens believe that prescription drugs are much safer than illegal street drugs—60% to 70% say that home medicine cabinets are their source of drugs. 
• Depressants, opioids and antidepressants are responsible for more overdose deaths (45%) than cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine and amphetamines (39%) combined. 

We, as parents, have to make ourselves available for our children. I understand the need for "some" families to have 2 incomes, but even after work, families are over scheduled with activities. They learn at a young age that we are not available for them, when they come up to show us something and we repeatedly hold up a hand to them and say, "wait a minute". What does that tell them? That whoever, or whatever it is that has our attention is more important than them. After getting the hand for years they just quit coming to us.

Another contributor to the divide is that the family dinner table has become a thing of the past. I cant count the number of times my kitchen has become the gathering place for a bunch of teenagers. We have had great conversations around our table. That is the place we get to know our kids. How would you talk to your friends if you were out to dinner with them? Talk to your kids the same way. We as parents are so afraid to "be friends" with our kids. Should I say it? yes I'm going to say it. It OK to be friends with your kids. Yes, there has to be some balance because we also have to be their parents, but whoever said you cannot be both was an idiot.

A complaint I hear a lot from parents is, "my kids don't respect me". I have a question for you; do you respect them? With teenagers, we have to be good listeners. We have to learn to just shut our mouths and put our opinions aside, and listen. In my house, my girls will give me a warning if it is something controversial, they will say something like, "don't get upset" or "hear me out". I have to respect that. Most of the time when they say that, I brace myself for the worse and when they finish talking it's like, "oh that's all? well that wasn't bad." Let them know you are interested in their lives without judgment or criticism. Trust me they get criticized all day long they don't need it at home. Do you listen to your kids? I mean truly listen to your kids?
Have they criticized you? Were they right with what they said or did you just see it as disrespect? One thing I love about teenagers is they are brutally honest. They tend to call out what they see. We as adults see it as disrespect, instead of swallowing our pride and learning from the younger generation.

They are also hungry for our trust and acceptance. If we have created an atmosphere in our homes of open communication, instilled values in the and trained them in the way they should go, then why do we not trust? If you doubt your parenting, don't take it out on your kids. Or maybe I should say it this way; by not trusting your kids, what you are actually saying is you don't think you raised them well enough to make the right decisions. Before my second and third child were born I had a Sunday school lesson on raising kids. One thing stuck with me all these years about the responsibilities of parents.

• From birth to ages 5-6, we train them and teach them
•  From ages 5-6 to around 10-12, we reinforce what we have taught 
• From 10-12 to adult we pray.

Now don't get me wrong here, I do believe we always have influence in our children's lives even into adulthood, but the level of control changes. That is where most parents stumble. When they begin to lose control over their children's lives. I have a news flash for you. They are not ours to control. God has given us the privilege of teaching, training and guiding them but they do not belong to us. They are His. The teenage years are their training grounds for adulthood. It is the time for them to practice being an adult. How can we as parents assist them? We do that by letting them fly, and fall; by gently guiding not holding onto them.

I am so grateful to have a close relationship with each of my girls. As much as it pains me to see my daughter go through this, as much as it has pained me in the past to watch my oldest go through things like breakups with boyfriend and friends, I know I can't shelter them. I have wanted to at times. What parent wants their child to go through pain? Here's another news flash, life is full of pain. I would rather my girls learn that while under my protection than when they are out in that cold world. Teach them now to "take their stand against the enemy's schemes" while you have their back. Be there for your kids, to love them, accept them for who they are, not for who you want them to be, encourage them, listen to them, and guide them. Don't control them or shelter them.

The Bible says we are to "train up a child in the way they should go and when he/she is old they will not depart from it" - Proverbs 22:6. The key word there is go, not stay to make us feel good. they are not ours to hold onto and God has a plan for each and every one of them. Do we love them and Him enough to let go and let them have their own testimony? Do we love them enough to be there for them without judgment? Or are we too selfish and self-centered to let go because we need them more than they need us? If you are a parent who tends to hold on, then learn to let go. If you are a parent who doesn't have a good relationship with your teen, start by learning to listen and let go of any judgment. There is hope. I fully believe we can defeat the enemy who has come to divide the family when we stand together, but to do that we must put ourselves aside.

sources:
(1) (http://www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts/prescription/abuse-international-statistics.html)

Slave To Debt

Jason and I have not always been Christians. For years after coming to Christ we didn't even know what Kingdom finance was. We are still paying for our irresponsibility. When you have debt you become a slave to that debt. Neither one of us carry a credit card with us anymore. We have learned to pay with cash or pay it off when the bill comes. But even as we have begun to live and handle our finances the way God desires we are still a slave to debt, because of our past mistakes.


God's desire is to restore. He sent His Son to die on a cross to restore what was lost in the garden. He is willing and capable of restoring marriages and families. He desires to have a bride (the church) who is restored to Himself. He also wants to restore our finances. I'm not talking about the prosperity gospel that so many preach on today. God wants to bless His children, yes, but we do not serve the Holy of Holy, King of King to receive things. We serve because we love Him.

The Bible says in Romans 13:8 "let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another..." Christ came to die on the cross to set us free. He is a God of restoration, and I believe over finances too. After all, everything is His anyway, we are only given stewardship over it. He lets us have our houses, cars, clothes, food, etc., and especially here in America we are blessed beyond compare.

Debt is a shameful thing. I don't say that to bring shame to those who have it, almost all of us do, I say it because that is how it makes you feel. We are blessed to have an income that covers our bills but I have been in the place where I didn't know how we were going to pay for things like food because of all the bills we had. Like a hoard of locust "debt" comes in to every aspect of your life. You argue with your spouse over finances (been there, done that); you argue with your kids because you are stressed over how you are going to pay for their sports fees or whatever else they need or want money for; you work 50-60 hours a week at one or 2 jobs, perhaps even both spouses are working that much and because you are working so much you are never there for your kids. Forget vacations, because that would just add to the debt and take away from the money coming in. Because you are working so hard it begins to affect your health; high blood pressures, insomnia, acid reflex, and various other ailments sneak in.

Jason and I have experienced first hand what the locust of debt can do to a family. But great news! God promises "to restore the years the locusts have eaten" (Joel 2:25); not just restore but look at verse 26  "you will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed." Why does He desire to do this? The answer is in verse 27 "Then you will know... that I am the Lord your God and there is no other". He desires to restore our finances as a testimony of who He is. Not by our hands, but by His miraculous provision.

That doesn't mean we are to just sit idly by and let Him do all the work. God does not like a sluggard, but we will let Him provide the right job for Jason, so he can serve God and walk in obedience. We will seek Him together in prayer and let Him provide the debt repayment plan, and we will worship and serve as we wait for God to multiply the work of our hands and to provide miraculous provision to erase this mountain of debt.

We are standing next to the mountain, standing on the Word of God, with faith that God restores and saying to that mountain, "MOVE!"

 It is so easy for the enemy to come in, and he has, and say, "this is going to take too long. You deserve to have what you want and everyone else charges it so why not you." Well I say to the enemy that I have the best Daddy in the universe and if He thinks I need it then He will provide it, not some creditor.

We refuse to be slaves to this debt anymore. We used to think that we had to be out of debt in order to step out in our ministry and go, but God desires to do something else. We are to step out in obedience to Him and let Him do the restoring of our finances. We are believing God for a $50,000 miraculous provision; to not just move a mountain but uproot and destroy it. When I look at our budget and crunch the numbers it will take 4-5 years for this mountain to move. This mountain is not going to move by our hands. It will move by the hand of God, leading us, giving us wisdom, and by miraculous provision. God is a God of restoration.

Stop Preparing and Grab Hold

I had a very brief conversation with someone this week about revival and it reminded me of something I wrote in December 2012. It is still so pertinent for today even though circumstances have changed. For instance, LifeChange Church has been in it's new home almost a year now and we are slowly growing. God is still doing amazing things in the lives of our small congregation. So many times I feel like the church (the whole church, not just LifeChange)  is right there on the precipice of revival yet only a few seem to catch hold of it. So many others around the world have similar feelings and frustrations. God wants revival, we say we want revival, but revival also comes with a price. I think that the reason we don't see the fire storm of revival is because too many in the body of Christ are not willing to pay that price. We are too comfortable in our nice houses, with our nice cars, and our seemingly perfect families, and we don't want to sacrifice any of it. But Christ says, "he who loses his life gains it". I believe God isn't going to just pour out revival, His presence is there waiting ,but we have to reach for it and grab hold of it.

Here is a portion of that previous blog, I felt as though God had something to say to the Church that day and He is still saying it today.

Prepare the Way For Revival

When I first started this blog, it was to share our story in hopes to encourage someone else and to share the journey we felt God was taking us on. Years ago, when we were still very broken God gave both Jason and I an audible word in a church service; we both heard it. That word was, "Go". God hasn't given us a clear picture of what that means. He has been revealing , however, that "go" doesn't always mean a moving of us, it can mean a releasing of us and a move of Him...

... He started with showing me a passage in Come Away My Beloved "Behold time is short. Be not entangled in the things of this world, for they are transitory. Be not over-concerned as to thy personal needs, for your Heavenly Father knoweth what ye have need of and He will supply. But let thine uppermost concern be to carry out My will and purpose for thy life, to be sensitve to My guidance, and to keep thine ear toward Heaven. Miss anything, but don't miss My Voice. Other voices may introduce disharmony, but My voice will always bring peace to thy heart and clarity to thy thinking. For ye shall hear My voice behind thee saying: This is the way, walk ye in it, when you turnest to the left or to the right."

Then, He spoke through His Word. Phil 3:13-21 - Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

Join with others in following my example, brothers and take note of those who live according to this pattern we gave you. For as I have often told you before and now say with tears, many live as enemies to the Cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that we will be like His glorious body.

Then he spoke to the church through my pen, I didn't even know what I was writing until after 

 "How far you are away from My will. I need you to listen to my voice. I have equipped you to push out the voice of the enemy so why are you listening to him? My tears are falling for you because you are not listening. I am about to move in a powerful way, I cannot have you in My way, but I need a willing heart that is ready and willing to be used. You need to be able to die to yourself, so you can carry My will to the nations. Put yourself aside. I did not give you a spirit of timidity so stop being timid and fearful. Quit looking at who you were, look only forward toward My Goal. You want revival; So why do you keep getting in My way? I have hungered to come to My church, to be near you, yet you have pushed Me away. Do not be as hypocrites. If you hunger for My Presence, then LET GO! Why are you making it harder than it is. It is simple, step forward. It is not a journey, it is one step only, into My presence. But don't just step there, stay there. Walk with Me; be My feet on earth; be My hands on earth; be My voice on earth. When you can step aside and let My will take control in a radical, bold way then and only then can I come and bring revival to My church."

Breaking Free The Veil

We had a wonderful speaker at church yesterday, Jay West, who is a traveling minister, author and motivational speaker He shared some amazing testimonies, but the thing that stood out the most to me was something that I have struggled with my entire life. It actually began with something Pastor Ross had said, "don't be careful" and Jay took it from there adding, "Be real, don't put on a veil". I would like to say that I am a very open person, and I thought that I had dealt with all my "veils", until yesterday.

I have shared in my early blogs about what it was like to be a military spouse. I had a switch that I would turn on so I could function as a mother and run the household when Jason was gone. It was also a switch that I turned on when things were not good in our marriage. I would just take a deep breath, suck it up, and do what I needed to do without any emotion. As I grew in my faith God began to reveal to me how dangerous that switch was. I used it, I thought, to protect myself, but ultimately all it did was isolate me. God didn't want me to use my switch anymore; I needed to be vulnerable. Man was that scary. That was almost 3 years ago. 

Lately, I have been in a bit of a funk. I have been struggling with writing, and in prayer and devotions with hearing from God. It hasn't been a good couple of days for Jason and I either. I knew something wasn't quite right and I kept pushing through in running after God, because I know that He is always there even if I don't feel Him or hear Him. I just couldn't put my finger on what was wrong. I was under attack, I could see glimpses of where the enemy was, and I thought I was fighting him off, but I still couldn't shake it. 

Just recently I wrote about judgement. I realized yesterday, that I had become careful; somewhere, sometime, someone had placed seeds of doubt in me and I had become careful. I quit looking at my life through God's eyes and started looking at it through the eyes of others. I had put on a veil and turned on the switch. I can't even remember all the words or who said them that triggered this attack, but I began to question how others saw me. I began to ask myself, "Am I where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing?" Jason and I are teaching a class on Power Evangelism on Thursday nights and Robby Dawkins author of (Do what Jesus Did )says in the videos, "not all of our thoughts are our own." I don't know why it took me so long to recognize that those were not my thoughts, they were put there by the enemy to derail me from what God has for me.

I didn't take offense to the words that were spoken to me but the enemy did use those words to cause me to take on the judgement. As I wrote a few weeks ago, "His (our Heavenly Daddy) opinion is all that matters." I was writing that for myself, to remind me. Today, I take a stand against the enemy's schemes and paraphrase Romans 12:2. 

I will not conform to the pattern of this world or the opinions and judgement of others. I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind through Christ Jesus. No longer will I put on a veil and be careful and if I try I pray the Holy Spirit will convict me to rip it off. I want to be about my Father's business and some may find that offensive because God doesn't fit into a nice. neat, little box. Sometimes His work looks messy and disorganized; sometimes it's a little strange, and a lot of times it calls for some risk, but I will walk one footstep at a time in obedience to His will. 

My son, pay attention to what I say,

turn your ear to my words.

keep them within your heart;

for they are life to those who find them

and health to one's whole body.

Above all else, guard your heart, 

for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:20-23

Are We Raising Our Children With a Spirit of Adoption?

Are we raising our children to have a spirit of adoption or are we raising them with an orphaned spirit?

That question came to me one morning during my devotion time with my youngest daughter, Rebecca. We have been reading Compelled By Love by Heidi Baker. In the book Heidi describes an orphan spirit as one "that causes people to shrink back, peer around corners, and not believe that there is room on their Father God's lap." How many of us felt that way when we first came to Christ? Perhaps you still feel this way. We felt like we had to behave a certain way in order for Him to bless us. Where did we get that idea?

The Bible says in Ephesians 1:4-5 "for He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will." As adults so many of us who grew up out of the church, and even some who grew up in the church, associate God with how our parents were. We may not have known loving parents and even if we did, we were surrounded by the ideology of the world.

In my last blog I wrote about expectations; do you think God has expectations for us? I believe He doesn't. He only desires for us to love Him. "Yet while we were still sinners, God demonstrated His love for us" -Romans 5:8.

"Orphans compete with each other, always comparing and worrying that there is not enough, worrying that as God blesses someone else, that we will miss out. Sons and daughters of God who are pure in heart give preference to each other, knowing that there is always enough in the Father's house" -Compelled By Love

How do your children behave, or better yet how do you behave? Do you see the comparing and worrying in your life and the lives of your children or do we approach things as if God has an open kitchen?

When my girls bring friends home, I tell them to help themselves to the pantry if they are hungry. God wants us to come to Him that way. Everything in His house is ours, we are "adopted into sonship"; we have an inheritance. If parents have so much influence in how people view God, do your children understand that they have access to you? Are you available to your kids? When they are struggling with hurts, sins, anger, etc., can they approach you without fear? Are they able to come to you with anything, knowing that you will not judge and condemn them? If we call on the name of Jesus then we represent Him to those around us, including our children. Are we loving them and guiding them the way that God loves and guides us? Are you quick to forgive them when they fall and to forget the past transgressions? Are you gently leading them in the right direction, lovingly pursuing them when they run away, and waiting anxiously for their return when they become a prodigal? There is nothing that we as parents go through that God himself has not gone through with His children. Just look at Moses and His insecurities, the Israelites and their rebelliousness, David and his strong will, Peter, and his impulsiveness, and the disciples and their lack of faith. It's all in His word.

God never gave up on His children so why do we give up on ours? We either lower our standards and say, "that's just the way they are" or we place such high expectations on them they could never hope to please us. I choose to "train them in the way THEY should go". Teaching them to love who God created them to be, encouraging them in their God given gifts, and  speaking life into them and blessings over them. My children have confidence in who they are to me and who they are in God. They know that nothing they do can ever separate them from either God or myself.

 I'm going to end with this passage from Heidi's book.
"After fourteen years of ministering to children in the streets and villages of Mozambique, I am beginning to understand more about the spirit of adoption. God is looking for spiritual mothers and fathers who know who they are in Him, who will go into the darkness, look for lost children (spiritual orphans) of all ages, and bring them home to the Father's house. Our attempts to minister to others may be feeble to some, but they are precious to God. We may minister like a three - year - old drawing their first picture, but we try as hard as we can, and with great joy we scribble our picture for God. We may mess up or rip the page. But when God our Father looks at what we have done for Him, He says, 'It's amazing, it's fabulous!' If God had a fridge in heaven our pictures would be on it"

Expectations

So I have had this post in the works for a week and a half now. One reason is because this is an important topic and often times a huge stronghold in peoples lives that the enemy does not want to come down. Another is because God has been continually showing my more on this subject. What sparked it was a quote that I heard a week and a half ago, "expectations are offense waiting to happen". It was one of those moments like in the cartoon when a light bulb flashes on over the head of the character. Let me begin by saying I used to get easily offended, especially by those close to me. I know I have overcame it but if someone were to ask me how I didn't know what to tell them other than the power of God. When I saw that quote thought I knew that it wasn't necessarily that I overcame a spirit of offense, but the root was my expectations. The Bible even gives an example, I read it in my devotion last week and then my pastor actually used this passage in his sermon yesterday.

2 Kings 5:1-14
 In summary, it is the story of Naaman, who has leprosy and is told by a servant that the prophet Elisha can heal him. You see the expectations starting in verse 10 when Elisha tells Naaman to go wash himself 7 times in the Jordan river to receive his healing. then in verse 11 Naaman reveals what he had expected. "I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy." It made him angry when Elisha did not live up to his expectations and he would have missed the healing except for his servants pointing out to him that if Elisha had told him to do something great he would have done it. (vs 13.) When Naaman humbled himself and obediently went to the dirty Jordan river and washed 7 times, he was healed. I find it interesting how pride and expectations are so closely linked.

How many of your relationships are affected by your expectations? We form preconceived ideas of the way certain relationships should be and when that is not reality we get offended. What are your expectations for your spouses, your children, your leaders, your friends? I know early on in our marriage my expectations for Jason did nothing but hurt our relationship; it made Christmas, my birthday, Valentine's day, and our anniversary miserable. It heightened my anxiety because things around me were not how I wanted them to be. Sound like control to you? I wanted Jason to be this man that I had dreamed up in my head, I thought I knew what I needed. My expectations were hindering what God wanted to do in Jason and me. Like Naaman, if it wasn't the way "I thought" it should be, I got mad. God's ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8).

We are called to love as Christ loved - unconditionally. If we get offended when someone doesn't behave or do something we expected is that loving them unconditionally?

I believe expectations are a symptom of our desire to control, and when we desire to control, it tells God we don't trust him. Like Naaman we could miss a move of God if we continue to hold onto expectations. Not only that but letting those expectations turn into and offense hinders the blessing and move of God in our lives and those around us. You want true change to happen in your relationships, look at them through God's eyes instead of your preconceived expectations of how you think they should be.  Don't let offense take root because you are too proud to let go of your expectations.